long dark journey into light

I imagine myself on an island with white sand and crystal blue water and a matching blue sky with an amazing and bright sun shining down on me. I am sitting up on the most comfortable lounge chair in the world with big chunky black sunglasses on and a baseball cap sitting wherever it fell on my head. I have a laptop that never needs plugged in and never loses battery power! This laptop comes with pictures of my family and friends and my gorgeous children, as well as Tetris and Microsoft Word. My laptop does get internet but only to two sites an eclectic music site such as Youtube and a dictionary/thesaurus site. I feel a slight breeze upon my skin and I can smell the salty air. I have a table next to me for my books and my drinks. My drinks are never ending and whatever I want to drink appears. Those lovely cabana girls rock my world. My life is bliss. For 4 hours a day I get to relax alone and do as I please on my island. I can write, I can read, I can swim, I can go jogging along the beach. Down at the far end of the beach and you can witness horses galloping across sand, beautiful and big horses! I am in awe as they make their way down the beach.

After four hours, I see and hear my children. Coming at me, running and squealing. They get to me and give me this huge hug and I start chasing them around. They have brought buckets and shovels to make their glorious sand castles. I see Caleb coming out of the clearing between the trees. He starts chasing Vinnie around as I settle down with the girls to build that sand castle. I look out into the ocean and just whisper a thank you to God. Thank you for this amazing place and for my family.

Just as I whisper out my thank you the girls start bickering about their sand castles and chuckle to myself. Life would not be complete without them arguing about something. We then pack up our stuff and head to the house. We have a gorgeous one level house with windows galore. We have french doors all around that stay open and you can see the curtains swaying in the breeze. Everyone is just so much more happier when the sun is shining, everyday. We get ready to make dinner and everyone does something to help. Of course the girls fight over their jobs and Vinnie whines because we’re not moving fast enough! That little boy is HUNGRY! *snicker* So we get dinner fixed and we eat outside! It’s that time of day when it’s not to hot and the breeze is blowing just enough to give us a whiff of the ocean. We eat and laugh and talk about our day.

As we complete our meal we get things cleaned up. Then we settle down and start reading stories to each other. We make up stories and add to stories and the girls get such a kick out of it. They just can’t stop giggling. I love that. Then it’s bath time and then bed time. The kids fight with us of course but then they quietly lay their head on their pillows and before I can turn the lights out they are asleep. I pull their bug nets around them and completely open their windows to the wondrous breeze floating around the island. I blow silent kisses to them at the door and close it behind me.

Then I go out on our deck and see the moonlight. Such glorious moonlight. Night time and day time, I can never really figure out which one I love more. I wrap a sheet around my body and I cuddle up next to Caleb with a book while he’s working on his computer. The moonlight is so bright we don’t need the actual light to see. I look out onto the ocean and the moon lights the way and I drop everything and run to the ocean and dive in. I just swim around in the moonlight for a bit, soaking in the amount of joy I feel. After a bit I get up and Caleb is waiting for me on the beach with a huge towel and he wraps it around me as well as his arms and gives me a huge hug. We are happier now, than before. He kisses me on the cheek and I run and he runs to catch up with me and we collapse on our bed….

……A dream that I want to come true and to never end.